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Have you ever heard of the Madonna complex? It has nothing to do with Madonna the entertainer. It is not some catchy “pop” psychology concept which sprung up overnight. Its legacy can be traced back to Sigmund Freud, the great Psychoanalyst and his psychosexual theories. The Madonna complex asserts that some men choose not to have sex with their spouses, or cheat on them because they are just not “sexually/physically” into them! They perceive them more like a mother figure– holding them in some spiritually reverent light. The attributes of the Madonna complex can be traced back to both European and Latin American roots. Marianismo is a term often linked to the Madonna complex. Marianismo also asserts that women are the physically weaker, gentle, docile and the passive gender. Then there is ‘Misogyny’, the other side of the Madonna complex coin. Misogyny is a loathing and hatred for women by men and even other women–just because they are female! Within the Madonna complex, sex after marriage defiles the expectations of what a wife is supposed to be and often times the relationship develops major functional issues. Infidelity often occurs due to sex and intimacy issues. Many males possessing this complex prefer; porn, strip clubs, massage parlours and escorts/prostitutes to satiate their sexual urges, hungers and fantasies. This is ‘okay’ in their minds because they have perpetuated a rationalization that they really are not cheating. The ramifications lead many women to ‘blame’ themselves for being unattractive, or not ‘sexy’. So many women can’t compete with fantasies created from watching porn, or seeing girls in strip clubs, which is rampant among men, and a huge killer of marriages and relationships. This workshop discusses the etiology, symptomology and ramifications of the Madonna Complex. It offers unique explanations for infidelity in marriages, and how ‘personality’ and learn behaviour plays into the complexity.
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